Because nothing feels real, and yet your bath still slaps.

🎮 The Theory (AKA: The Digital Doom Spiral)

The Simulation Hypothesis says this:

What if life isn’t real?
What if we’re just characters in a cosmic video game,
coded into existence by someone - or something - else?

Elon Musk, theoretical physicists, tech bros, and philosophy nerds all agree:
There’s a terrifyingly high chance that this world is a simulated construct.

Like The Sims.
But with more stress, fewer pool parties, and waaaaay more Mercury retrogrades.

🕳️ So… What’s the Evidence?

You know those weird little moments?

• Déjà vu that hits too perfect

• Glitches in your phone... and brain

• Random strangers knowing things they shouldn’t

• Mandela Effects (Berenstain vs. Berenstein, anyone?)

• When you think of someone and they text?

• That time you dropped your crystal and time slowed down?

Yeah.
Those are what simulation believers call "code fragments"- moments where the program slips.

🧠 Philosophers Been Knew

The OGs were talking about this centuries ago:

• Plato’s Allegory of the Cave? Simulation theory, ancient edition.

• René Descartes: “How do I know I exist?”

• Modern scientists? “You probably don’t. LOL.”

🧪 So Who’s Running It?

Options include:

• Future humans

• An advanced alien race

• A god-level A.I.

• That little bastard from your dreams who always turns into a snake

Whoever it is, they coded* heartbreak, hangovers, and reality TV into the base game.
Cruel. Iconic. Relatable.

🧼 What’s the Witch Response?

Simple.

If this is a simulation, honey, hack it.

• Cast spells anyway

• Burn that candle

• Use your crystals

• Scream affirmations into the void

• Hex your algorithm if necessary

Why?
Because magic = code manipulation.

Rituals are our cheat codes.
Intentions are our keystrokes.
And that candle?
It’s your version of CTRL + ALT + HEX.

🔮 Witch Tip:

Cast spells anyway - 
even if it’s just to freak out the programmer.
Make them regret ever clicking "new save file."

🖤 Moral of the story?

Whether it’s a simulation, a spell, or just a really committed fever dream - 
you still get to be the main character.

So light your damn Spell Candle, lather your Fortune Soap, and manifest something that bends reality just enough to piss off the gods.

💬 Think we’re in a simulation, witches?
Or are you just living glitched, gifted, and unbothered?

Drop your glitchiest moment below 🖤